Juggling the emotion

Im juggling with my own emotion now. Fact is office work is demanding more time and I almost drowning. See, the work is so interesting, selagi tak shut down laptop, selagi tu rasa nak buat mcm2. Bila on je terus nak buat keje. Takder mcm nak browse2. Kecuali bila juju masuk keje. But browsing guna Iphone bila 3G ada sajer.

And now im almost 2 weeks with cough. Sakit dada batuk, kepala pening shaking. But i dont have the option. I am in contract position, pay per day. So one day off, hilang sehari gaji. Then suddenly realized, 11april is public holiday. So if i took medical leave, hilang 2 hari salary.

My husband company, mcm apa pun tak tau. Salary suka hati, ada one staff dah tender resignation, one month notice, tp salary bulan lepas tak dpt, dgn alasan, he is not priority. Hari2 berdoa so that he got better job offer.

I love this job, i love my business, i miss my quality time. But nak dpt semua mmg tak dpt la. Mesti ada kos lepas. Dulu rasa tak ckp duit, skrg rasa tak ckp masa. Thing i miss most is happy time when spent with family.

What i dont regret being a work at home mom is okinokiyo's business and see how i shape nasya of course. At least my mom can see too that 2 years i was home, is not lazying spend husband's money, but teach and bring value to myself. I am proud mom when she can read by 4 and have the confidence and easy to mix around with ppl, bukannya duduk rumah and takut jumpa org.

But i know i have no option now to choose and i know Allah has better plan for me. And im still thinking with all the sacrifices i made today, where will i be in few months time.

I dont know is this me who break down or what.

But still sewing comforts me. Yayy.


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